I woke up today at 11:15 p.m. for the first time in my life. My new schedule of working overnight is beginning to set in. There's been many a time where I stare in disbelief at the alarm clock in my room but it's usually because it says something like 6:45 a.m. or 10 a.m. But not 11:15 p.m.
The transformation to becoming a vampire is almost complete for me. I start to cringe at sunlight, go grocery shopping at 3:30 a.m. and try to call people before I go to sleep in the morning. Now I just have to develop a taste for the blood of young, beautiful, Victorian women.
My vocabulary changes a bit as 'late,' 'early,' 'morning,' and 'night' cease to hold any real meaning and wither away like the some truly effective simile that can't come to mind at 3:49 a.m. I begin to truly understand existentialism since all that is real is the immediate atmosphere around me and the last two or three hours since I woke up.
An all-night Starbucks becomes my outlet to feeling like I'm having some human interaction after the rest of the Chicago goes to bed. Even though I sit in a corner, and speak only a few words the couple of hours I'm here. "I'll have a tall coffee." "Yeah, leave some room." "Okay, I can move while you clean this section of the store." "No, thanks, I don't know how to play chess." "No, I can't give you money to get into the Vietnam Vet's shelter because the rum on your breath tells me not to. Was that Malibu or Captain Morgan that you just had?"
The Starbucks is the best option to keeping my schedule since I already know what it takes to win at Elimidate and how I can make thousands of dollars by buying and rehabbing old homes. Late night television can't occupy the restless mind that is used to interacting with people and being stimulated by human conversation.
And since I know of the no great independent coffee house that stays open all night, Starbucks will have to do.
And hopefully sometime while I'm here, I'll have one of those moments when the coffee kicks in; when my minds seems to clear up; when I can suddenly see the bigger picture of what's happening in my life. I understand why I feel like God has been disappearing little by little from my life. I see what sucks about my job and what is truly to be cherished and held on to like a true gift from the Provider. Why human interaction and true fellowship is so necessary and as nourishing as an all-natural, vitamin-packed slushie from some colorfully decorated juice store chain.
Now if only I could get the baristas to change the Muzak playing over the store's stereo so I don't have to listen to every single song Norah Jones ever sang.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
True or false
Would this really happen in Chicago or is it just a guy trying to pass the early morning hours? You decide and post.
A car driving erratically on the South Side led to a shootout in which police shot and killed a murder suspect from a three-month old homicide.
The car fled police as officers tried to pull it over. The suspect car then sped onto the express lanes of the Dan Ryan expressway and crossed all four lanes to veer into the local lanes, during which it hit a sand barrel, side-swipped a semi truck and then rolled over onto an off ramp. Police crossed the expressway to arrest the driver, who dropped a revolver onto the ground after climbing out of the crumpled car. Police tried to use an electric taser gun to apprehend the hefty driver until the man pulled out a semi-automatic MAC 10 gun and fired at the officer.
A gun battle ensued on the expressway until backup officers arriving at the scene shot and killed the man. No officers were hit in the exchange of gunfire on the expressway.
The suspect was first misidentified at the morgue and found to be a non-criminal. However, police later rightly identified the man and found he was wanted for a three month-old homicide.
Hmmm. Sound like something from a John Woo movie or an actual police shootout?
A would-be bank robber at a Far South Side bank was shot and paralyzed by a bank rent-a-cop while trying to rob the place with an accomplice.
Would a rent-a-cop have that good of a shot?
A man who didn't want to pay a cab fare died after leaping from a moving taxi on the Kennedy Expressway and was then hit by another car.
Are there really people that stupid living in Chicago?
A truck with Mexico license plates was found parked in a private parking spot. Sitting on the front seat was 50 pounds of marijuana in a black trash bag. On the rear bumper was a sticker that read, "Report all drug smuggling to U.S. customs."
Too ironic to be true?
A woman came to a police station, claiming that police had arrested her son for cutting off a tracking bracelet from his leg. The woman didn't realize that Chicago police don't give leg bracelets, which are controlled by the Cook County sheriff's. She became extremely belligerent after the desk officers repeatedly told her that the bracelet was not handled by the Chicago Police Department. Police had to threaten her with a taser gun to get her to leave the station as she refused to listen to them, insisting that officers had beat her son.
She began praying loudly in the lobby for her son, whom she thought police had beaten. She then began to pray against the police officers and that the blood of her son would be stained on all the officers in the station. She came within two minutes of being arrested by officers for no reason other than causing a disruption at the station.
Too imprecatory to be authentic?
A car driving erratically on the South Side led to a shootout in which police shot and killed a murder suspect from a three-month old homicide.
The car fled police as officers tried to pull it over. The suspect car then sped onto the express lanes of the Dan Ryan expressway and crossed all four lanes to veer into the local lanes, during which it hit a sand barrel, side-swipped a semi truck and then rolled over onto an off ramp. Police crossed the expressway to arrest the driver, who dropped a revolver onto the ground after climbing out of the crumpled car. Police tried to use an electric taser gun to apprehend the hefty driver until the man pulled out a semi-automatic MAC 10 gun and fired at the officer.
A gun battle ensued on the expressway until backup officers arriving at the scene shot and killed the man. No officers were hit in the exchange of gunfire on the expressway.
The suspect was first misidentified at the morgue and found to be a non-criminal. However, police later rightly identified the man and found he was wanted for a three month-old homicide.
Hmmm. Sound like something from a John Woo movie or an actual police shootout?
A would-be bank robber at a Far South Side bank was shot and paralyzed by a bank rent-a-cop while trying to rob the place with an accomplice.
Would a rent-a-cop have that good of a shot?
A man who didn't want to pay a cab fare died after leaping from a moving taxi on the Kennedy Expressway and was then hit by another car.
Are there really people that stupid living in Chicago?
A truck with Mexico license plates was found parked in a private parking spot. Sitting on the front seat was 50 pounds of marijuana in a black trash bag. On the rear bumper was a sticker that read, "Report all drug smuggling to U.S. customs."
Too ironic to be true?
A woman came to a police station, claiming that police had arrested her son for cutting off a tracking bracelet from his leg. The woman didn't realize that Chicago police don't give leg bracelets, which are controlled by the Cook County sheriff's. She became extremely belligerent after the desk officers repeatedly told her that the bracelet was not handled by the Chicago Police Department. Police had to threaten her with a taser gun to get her to leave the station as she refused to listen to them, insisting that officers had beat her son.
She began praying loudly in the lobby for her son, whom she thought police had beaten. She then began to pray against the police officers and that the blood of her son would be stained on all the officers in the station. She came within two minutes of being arrested by officers for no reason other than causing a disruption at the station.
Too imprecatory to be authentic?
Saturday, January 01, 2005
BORED WRITER WRITES
Chicago--Chicago world wide web servers crashed on Jan. 1 when a record number of readers accessed the Internet to read the newly-published Beach Picayune online.
Internet service providers worked for fourteen hours on the first day fo 2005 to restore an overstressed system that shutdown at 12:01 a.m.
"It was like Y2K fear, only real," said Roger McSturm, CEO of SBC for the Chicago land area. Hundreds of millions were reported to have accessed the Beach Picayune website at the stroke of midnight, causing an evenutal shutdown of the internet.
The shutdown continued for nine hours as each time zone in the United States attempted to access the Picayune website at midnight.
"We just underestimated the popularity of this middle child reporter and his website," McSturm said. "Who would've guessed that people would want to read what some bored writer writes about as an armchair critic."
"I just couldn't wait to read the news in the Beach Picayune," said Susan Housewife, of Des Moines, Iowa. "The sharp reporting on the role of the religion in everyday life is enthralling. And the editorials are so affirming to middle children all over the country."
Chicago area readers remained in front of their computers Dec. 31, rather than patronize a New Year's Eve celebration or watch the fireworks launched near Navy Pier. Millions sat with mouse buttons poised on the "Refresh" button to restore the web page which was unavailable until midnight.
"I've seen enough fireworks in Chicago," said Rogers Park resident Stan Stanislaw. "I couldn't wait for the fireworks that would burst into my heart after reading true or not-so-true stories of what goes in Chicago police stations. And what better way to support a bored writer than to visit his website and stroke his creative genius ego."
"I'm still amazed that the Beach Picayune could shut down the Internet for fourteen hours," said McSturm. "I may even start reading it just to see what everyone else is reading. I get the feeling that anyone who is in the know will be reading the Beach Picayune on a weekly basis, even if there's been no new articles posted for a month."
SBC plans to spend millions to strengthen it's networks to better support the Picayune wesite over the coming months.
Internet service providers worked for fourteen hours on the first day fo 2005 to restore an overstressed system that shutdown at 12:01 a.m.
"It was like Y2K fear, only real," said Roger McSturm, CEO of SBC for the Chicago land area. Hundreds of millions were reported to have accessed the Beach Picayune website at the stroke of midnight, causing an evenutal shutdown of the internet.
The shutdown continued for nine hours as each time zone in the United States attempted to access the Picayune website at midnight.
"We just underestimated the popularity of this middle child reporter and his website," McSturm said. "Who would've guessed that people would want to read what some bored writer writes about as an armchair critic."
"I just couldn't wait to read the news in the Beach Picayune," said Susan Housewife, of Des Moines, Iowa. "The sharp reporting on the role of the religion in everyday life is enthralling. And the editorials are so affirming to middle children all over the country."
Chicago area readers remained in front of their computers Dec. 31, rather than patronize a New Year's Eve celebration or watch the fireworks launched near Navy Pier. Millions sat with mouse buttons poised on the "Refresh" button to restore the web page which was unavailable until midnight.
"I've seen enough fireworks in Chicago," said Rogers Park resident Stan Stanislaw. "I couldn't wait for the fireworks that would burst into my heart after reading true or not-so-true stories of what goes in Chicago police stations. And what better way to support a bored writer than to visit his website and stroke his creative genius ego."
"I'm still amazed that the Beach Picayune could shut down the Internet for fourteen hours," said McSturm. "I may even start reading it just to see what everyone else is reading. I get the feeling that anyone who is in the know will be reading the Beach Picayune on a weekly basis, even if there's been no new articles posted for a month."
SBC plans to spend millions to strengthen it's networks to better support the Picayune wesite over the coming months.
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