"How many people have to kill themselves before Moody does something?"
A friend of mine posed this question not too long ago while she and another friend of mine joined me at an outdoor patio of a restaurant.
It was the first sunny day that dried up the April showers and began to usher in the May flowers. The breeze bustled through the patio and made me wonder how heavy the margarita glasses on our table were. They were holding their own so they must be heavy enough.
Each of us were halfway through our tequila and lime drinks when my friend (whom I hadn't talked with in over a year) asked, "Did you know Clark Stacy?" (See $%&*& $*#!)
It seemed that she had traveled to Europe one summer with a school trip. She got to know Clark well and took the above photograph while traveling over there.
All three of us knew Clark and all three of us knew depression. We vented about all our frustrations and then came the million dollar question I began with.
Is that too harsh? Too over-dramatic? Some could not even conceive of an institute that trains the next generation of Christian leaders as being responsible for the suicide of one of it's trainees. Yet some would cast the blame no where else.
We dialogued about frustrations over the loss of Clark, the culture of evangelicalism and our alma mater. It was an odd sort of therapy session that lasted for almost two hours. Even as the sun disappeared behind some buildings and the breeze brought back the all too familiar chill, we kept talking and chomping down on the guacamole and chips we ordered. All the other customers had retreated into the restaurant to warm up.
The chill outside reminded us that it was not yet the longed-for summer. We were inbetween seasons, having lived through the sunless winter and rainy spring but still waiting for the deliverance of summer. We were in an inbetween period where we had to persevere for the better that was to come.
My friend only lived about a block from the restaurant and invited us over to see her place. She mentioned earlier that a friend had given her an expensive bottle of tequila as a gift and that she didn't want to just open it to drink it alone. This seemed like a worthy occasion so she opened it.
"So what are we going to drink to?" she asked. "You're supposed to drink to something."
"How 'bout surviving?" I said.
"That sounds good," said my other friend.
"To surviving evangelicalism," she said.
We raised our shot glasses with a clink and let the warmth of the liquor remind of the coming summer.
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4 comments:
Some musings on what I have learned about this through a series of unfortunate events:
We sometimes become angry towards evangelicalism and all that is associated with it because it consists of some obvious shortcomings. Based on personal experience, I suggest that it is possible that we can become so bitter towards that system that we begin to disregard the weight of our own personal sin. Of whom does evangelism consist? Is it not rebellious and wayward sinners saved by grace alone? Is it then no wonder that the system has not attained its ideal? It is more mind-boggling to me that God would use us at all than the fact that we cannot build a perfected system.
I have learned that frustrations and a need to reform evangelicalism must begin first within ourselves. Why is it that these things bother me? Are these things that God intended for his followers or are they my own expectations? Am I expecting others to achieve something I myself have not yet obtained? God has shown me that I ought not judge systems and institutions with any other measure than that by which I judge my own heart.
It is only after intense self-realization that we can legitimately face the external issues. Specifically, what is it that bothers us so much about evangelicalism and/or MBI? What do MBI students need to remain emotionally healthy? And the million dollar question: what is it that is keeping us from doing something about it ourselves? Maybe it is possible that God has given us a sensitivity to certain issues not so that we become angry at its existence, but in order that we might arise and meet that place of need. Could God be calling???
Right on. Right on. You pretty much pinned down the realistic solution.
Thanks for the right perspective.
It is often the hardest thing express your anger and figure out the best thing to do with it. It's always easier to put it on "the man" or whatever institution may be convienient.
I wasn't so much trying to damn "the man" but more trying to imitate some other famous writer's style. There's more to this blog than may be immediately obvious. Trying looking at the weather descriptions and think of Annie Dillard.
Although I agree with anonymous' comment, it makes me angry. It smacks of so many Moody chapels that seem to make any problem you see in the world somehow rest on your shoulders personally. True quote: "You have no right to complain about Moody's food when you could be burning in hell right now." So imagine hearing that in chapel and then trying to meet with Food Service in an attempt to exempt yourself from the meal plan for health reasons, only to be told by the dean of women that "you can eat cereal."
Somehow Moody has a way of making a service you pay for another outlet for you to be the sinner in rebellion against authority. And your chapel speakers confirm that. "Have a good attitude. Revive your own spiritual life, then you won't care about cereal."
Yes, true, very true. We are all responsible. And truthfully we all deserve eternal damnation and less than corn flakes. So really my friend with the health problems can't complain. But wait a minute.... neither can someone being afflicted by racism, or sexism...
The answer to the dilema that is presented by this way of thinking, is not to call for reform based on what I deserve or a standard that I have achieved in my own personal holiness. But to hold out the standard of truth and the ethical demands of the gospel. Not because my friend deserves food she can eat, but because Jesus said to love your neighbor.
I am afraid that the way anonymous challenges us to take action is subtly like the chapel speaker who tries to guilt me into liking unripe tomatoes. I think that what some of us are called to, but we have been seduced into ignoring, due to chapels like the above, is to take up a prophetic voice against the sins and ideologicial errors of Moody. If we do this not on the basis of what is owed to us, or what is fair or what we deserve, but on the basis of the teachings of Christ as our ethical standard, we will challenge ourselves to forgive in our own proclamation.
The example of Corrie Ten Boom's struggle to forgive a Nazi soldier who had tortured her sister comes to mind. MLK's call to unity and forgiveness also comes to mind. Yet MLK's ministry was one of loud proclamation of the truth.
In that light, I think we must continue to acknowledge that the sins of Moody are grievous. Maybe this is how God will use us. How we do that is paramount. We must speak in love. But I think it must also be acknowledged that, though not anonymous' intention, places like Moody have purposefully and intentionally used argument's like his/hers to shut people up when they should be speaking out against corporate sin.
Backdrop, I can tell you've thought through this a lot. How are you so well versed in the realities of our possibly common alma mater? If you're in the area, we should hang out.
And where did you learn to write so well?
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