The Last Of The Satire Brew (for now)...

The Mystery of The Holy Trinity Revealed on The Brew.

New Brew; A Great Satirist

The Coffee Chain That Shall Remain Nameless gets creative in where to place 20,000 more stores in the U.S. on The Brew.

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Since the month of satire on The Brew is coming to a close, I thought I'd post a little something by a great satirist that maybe not be as widely known: Kierkegaard.
Here's some great quips on preaching and proclamation.

"Pastor: You must die to the world -- that will be ten dollars.

Novice: Well, if I must die to the world, renounce all the things of this world, I certainly understand that I will have to put out more than ten dollars for the sake of the cause, but there is just one question: Who gets the ten dollars?

Pastor: I do, of course; it is my wages. After all, I and my family have to make a living you know. It is a very cheap price, and very soon much more will have to be charged. If you are fair, you yourself will understand that it takes a lot out of a man to proclaim that one must die to the world if the proclamation is made with earnestness and zeal. And that is also why it is very necessary for me and my family to spend the summer in the country in order to recuperate."

"The punishment I should like the clergy to have is a tenfold increase in salary. I am afraid that neither the world nor the clergy would understand this punishment."

"A speech expert is just a suitable for proclaiming Christianity as a deaf-mute for being a musician."

Stuff Worth Reading....

I've found some interesting stuff in the news over the last few weeks.

This is an article suggesting, stock- and business-wise, why The Coffee Chain That Shall Remain Nameless should swallow up Caribou Coffee.

Here's an article looking into that Coffee Chain's current promotions and how it's founder wants to save the company's soul, all the while opening more stores and tripling the store's profits.

Then I found some other news about Christianity's messy relationship with the public, the legal system and prisons.

The Dallas Observer had an article this week about an evangelical prison, somewhat based on Chuck Colson's PFM,in Houston that may be in legal trouble if an Iowa lawsuit goes through.

I saw my roommate reading this article from last year about Dallas mega-church Watermark in legal trouble over a church discipline matter. Here is the most recent update I could find on it.

New Brew; Word Pictures

A New Method Of Evangelism on The Brew.
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Word Pictures

So I had a pretty sweet road trip and men’s retreat with guys of all ages from my church.

The easiest way to describe it would be to paint some word pictures of the early morning trip to Graceland and then to the Shepherd of the Ozarks retreat center in Arkansas.

Graceland gift shops sold 100% organic, fair trade coffee: the ‘Silent Night’ Decaf blend and Evis’s House blend.

An entire exhibit displayed at least 50 of Elvis’ jumpsuits, ranging from the simple and white to the ‘Red Dragon’ be-jeweled.

A TV room in the Graceland mansion looked as if it was pulled out of the Thunderball or Diamonds Are Forever sets. A living room, entitled the ‘jungle room’, featured tiki chairs, couches and shag carpet on the ceiling.

I had BBQ nachos and a BBQ sandwich Memphis-style (with coleslaw on top) at a place called “Showboat Barbeque.” A chalk menu board in the store featured the daily specials; but all were below the words “Jesus is Lord” written in chalk on the top of the board.

I stayed in a lodge set deep in a valley of the Ozark Mountains, with high cliffs, bluffs and mountains surrounding the cabin. A family of mountain goats walked in and around the cliffs in the evening.

To end a great couple of hours of paintball during the retreat, two guys had an old-fashioned duel. They each took ten steps away from each other, turned and then let rip whatever paintballs they had left.

I went down in flames while trying to play “Heart-Shaped Box” on Guitar Hero for the PS2 during one night of the retreat. I did equally horrible while attempting “Crazy in Love” by Beyonce on Karaoke Hero. I almost redeemed myself while attempting “American Woman” but was booed off of the video game stage.

New Brew

Obama's Face On A Tortilla! The Brew

New Brew; YouTube Finds; Lent Results

NEW BREW

I just posted Dan Morgan's look at why people should change their vocabulary from Love to Lust on The Brew.

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YOUTUBE FINDS

Found some great stuff on YouTube last night.
Alanis Morrisette's cover of "My Humps." Hilarious.
MadTV skit of The Terminator meeting Jesus.
MadTV skit somehow putting Iraq together with Apple Computers. Pretty creative.
The best of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons.

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LENT RESULTS

So here’s what happened after my ‘no TV’ Lent.

I finished six books: To Own a Dragon, and Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller; The Book Of The Dun Cow, and The Book Of Sorrows by Walter Wangerin, Jr.; Blessed Assurance by Randall Balmer; The Devil In The White City by Erik Larson.

I also got out of the habit of passively watching TV (spending most of a Sunday afternoon or a late night channel surfing). I watched the few shows I was truly into (Lost and The Office) but was left slightly wanting after each episode. Neither seemed as good as I remembered them being.

I might go so far as to say the desire to blow some time watching TV went away. Kind of like curing yourself of some bad habit or desire.

A friend told me he began reading Piper’s Future Grace. I read it back in college but was only looking for one certain thing during that time of life (some kind of relief from depression). But Piper’s idea of prizing the pleasure of God so much that you would loose the desire to cling to some lesser thing, say some sin or something, came back to me.

I feel like I kind of did this during the Lent season. It reminded me of how someone can take initiative to improve their faith, their spirituality or their relationship with God. I haven’t done that kind of thing in a while, though I now feel like I can.

So I’m going to re-read Grace and see what happens. Maybe it’ll be another step back into the faith that I’m re-entering.

New Brew

You'll never believe it: Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, finished art school! The Brew

So Funny...

A pretty good rant on the the Coffee Chain That Shall Remain Nameless.

New Brew; The Funny Pages

I posted a release about an upcoming Al Gore film on penguins baking in the sun on The Brew.
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Funny Pages

So there was just a lot of funny stuff happening to me lately.
So here’s some of it.

License plates I’ve seen at my church: XRAY MAN; GRUMPZ.

A solution to the Chick-fil-A problem: A friend’s Dad suggested this: Have those Moroccans start wearing turbans when they park in the lot. Have them take pictures of the restaurant when the employees come out. And then say, “Hey, I’ve got to run to the bank. But if my Land Rover starts smoking….Well, never mind.”

I went to check out The Village church in suburban DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth) with a good buddy of mine and his wife. We went to a Mexican restaurant beforehand and ate; and we drank.
I had a Amaretto Meltdown. And I was a little melted afterwards. The drink was more potent than I thought. So I was pretty happy when I sat down in the double-wide chair in The Village sanctuary. The music seemed a little loud and pounding.

A Sonic ad board read: “Loosen your belts. We’ve got double patty melts.”

I saw plastic eggs in an Easter egg hunt painted camouflage and hidden in the grass and bushes.

My church had a dramatic reading of parts of the gospel of John on Good Friday. Naturally, those involved wore all black. A song popped into my head that I didn’t tell anyone about. The song was “Back in Black” by ACDC.

New Brew

I just posted an saddening article on The Brew about how gangs are taking over our octogenarians in South Dallas. Read it a weep.

The Dump....

So I always end up finding lots of interesting crap while I'm online. Here's some of the more stand-out stories.

A Caffeinated Donut.

Time magazine trying to be clever with Albert Mohler when he is diagnosed with cancer.

Rueters reports on a mental health bill working through congress that would make insurance companies add coverage for mental health issues.

Two clowns (no joke) shot dead at a circus in Columbia.

Borat a human rights victim?

The Worst of the Worst Movie Awards on Rotten Tomatoes.

Obama as Christ?

This last one brought back memories for me. A videographer from San Francisco is reportedly 'soon to be released' after being jailed for almost a year on charges of contempt for not releasing a video of a San Fran cop getting injured during an Anarchist Action rally. The video, though long, shows an anarchist's rally in San Fran. The section in question comes towards the end, when a cop has to subdue a protester and someone thrusts what looks like a pole at the officer.
The video brought back memories for me of when I covered a huge anti-war rally in Chicago. This video of the San Fran equivalent is interesting to watch if you've never experienced a protest rally.

Enjoy.

New Brew

So I posted April's editorial on The Brew today. I don't want to say too much about it because it might take away from the experience. So have at it.

Depression Series # 9 - Re-Entering The Faith

So this is the final article in my depression series ( got a little sidetracked this past weekend). But this article was originally published in the December issue of The Brew. This probably best describes where I'm at now.

Re-Entering The Faith (Dec. '06)

I recently began rereading a collection of Søren Kierkegaard’s spiritual writings, Provocations. To call it a breath of fresh air wouldn’t do justice to how much of a climax of sorts this has been for my faith.

I haven’t reached the top of some great mountain of affirmation in my faith or received from God an invigorating revelation that would plot out the rest of my life and service to him.

I’ve just realized that it’s probably safe to pick up my faith again after letting it go for a couple of years.

Like many others who struggle with some mental illness, I put my faith aside for a while in order to deal with the issues going on my life. I decided not to think through whether I was a pre-tribulation Calvinist or whether I was following God’s plan for my life. I was just going to exist for a while and see what happened.

After struggling with depression for years, I realized that my faith was part of the problem, and I took steps to fix the problem. Or, more accurately, I stopped taking steps forward in my faith.

There are a myriad of ways that a person’s faith plays a huge role in his or her struggles with depression, bi-polar and obsessive compulsive disorder, or any other of the hundreds of mental illness that exist. People can be imprisoned by an overactive sense of guilt or by a need to perform every task, sometimes repeatedly, perfectly. And some forms of faith only amplify these problems.

So for the last few years, I didn’t do anything to stand out or strive towards some new spiritual goal. I still attended church, but I pretty much sat in the back and didn’t attract too much attention. I didn’t talk to too many people about faith, Christ, spirituality, or, especially, theology. I avoided anything that would make me say or decide something definitive about my faith.

I’ve had many conversations with a professional counselor at a Christian college in Chicago about how he helped students, and employees of the college, to figure out how to fix their problems. In many cases, he suggested that maybe the people should leave the college. I couldn’t believe he suggested this until I realized how similar to the Church is to a Christian college, replete with all the same conflicts, sinners and issues. And then I saw the wisdom in that suggestion.

For some, letting go of their faith involves not attending church anywhere and stopping a relationship with God or even cutting all ties with Christianity. And why not? If someone’s faith is what is causing all the problems, then it would be masochistic to hold on to that which keeps hurting you.

I couldn’t do this, though. Even though my faith was a large part of my struggle with depression, I also knew that it was also, ironically, the solution to it. And the truly masochistic move would be to run away because I would always end in the same place, beaten down, broken and hurt. Nothing I would cling to could fix my depression or my disgust with American Christianity would ever really work or assuage my anger.

So years go by without any major actions or decisions in regards to my faith and things begin to get easier. Counseling helped me sort through issues and my church fed and nurtured me in spite of its apparent failures. The Bible began to make more sense to me; it guided and encouraged my faith. Prayer began to seem less like dropping a coin in a fountain.

My faith in the Church, and more importantly, in Christ’s power to heal and restore us, has grown more solid. I feel a little more comfortable talking about my faith, spirituality and even some theology because it has become more real during my time away from it.

So as I continue to read Kierkegaard, I can not only identify with the existential angst that he so eloquently put into words, but also the hope that faith can truly help fix my mental illness.

“Teach me, oh God, not to torture myself and not to make a martyr of myself in suffocating introspection, but to take a deep and wholesome breath of faith!”

- Søren Kierkegaard